GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE MARCH 5, 1999

EVENINGS OUT

Camaraderie and fear mix inside the Greek closets

Out on Fraternity Row Personal Accounts of Being Gay in a College Fraternity Edited by Shane L. Windemeyer and Pamela W. Freeman Alyson Publications, $12.95

Reviewed by Kaizaad Kotwal

Exclusive societies have existed since there have been, well, societies. What is notorious about these exclusive clubs is that they are often defined not so much by who should belong, but more by who most certainly does not belong.

Another striking feature of these societies is that, traditionally, they have been allmale and, in the Western Hemisphere, they have been all-white.

In the United States, there is a group of such exclusive clubs known as the fraternity system. These clans of brotherhood and friendship have long been a bastion of tradition on American campuses from Maine to Alaska. Brotherhood, even today, is often defined by race, class, sexual orientation and most certainly, gender.

At Dartmouth College, the campus that inspired the 1978 film Animal House, there is a debate on whether to allow women into fraternities, an idea that is anathema to the champions of the all-male Greek system.

It would be no exaggeration to say that fraternities, even today, have as part of their day-to-day operations a healthy share of problems--some of which are alcohol, date rape, racism, hazing, classism, etc. This is not to deny that there are no fraternities who are philanthropic, socially conscious and well meaning. However, one of the most well-kept secrets in these secret societies is the issue of homosexuality within the fraternal walls.

In light of this, Alyson Publication's book Out on Fraternity Row: Personal Accounts of Being Gay in a College Fraternity is ground breaking, revelatory, and essential to breaking down the hypocrisy of the homophobia rampant in Greek frat houses.

What is ironic about the Greek system is that while homophobia is almost essential to be initiated as a full member, many of the rituals that are used to make "men out of boys," are extremely homoerotic and many are laced with S&M overtones. Darkened

rooms littered with candles are often environments for paddling, a ritual where a "big brother" slaps a “little brother" with a solid wooden paddle. The recipient is bent over with his posterior exposed, while other brothers stand around and cheer.

Other rituals are known to have involved lots of nudity and comparisons of body parts and proving of sexual prowess. Regardless of this bitter irony, many of the gay members of fraternities are still forced to live in the closet, deeply shamed about their same-sex proclivities.

In one of the accounts in the book, Alen Ward writes that "Homophobia within fraternities is a tragedy that perpetuates ignorance and plays on irrational fears. Fraternity professionals who are silent on this issue advance the notion that gay bashing is part of 'good ole' fraternity experience."

Being outed in a fraternity is most often a very traumatic and humiliating experience. Rarely do outed or openly gay bothers stay on and remain connected to the fraternity. Editors Shane Windemeyer and Pamela Freeman address many of the issues of fraternities and homosexuality in their collection of tales from the Greek closets.

stories with frank simplicity and with touching accounts of their isolation, their fear, and their self-loathing in a system that is about belonging and family.

OUT

Windemeyer is also a founder of the Lambda 10 Project, a national initiative working to heighten the visibility of gay and bisexual members of college fraternities. She writes that, "Never has there been an account of gay men in fraternities. By telling stories of gay brothers, no longer will a gay brother feel alone and no longer will fraternities be able to ignore the need for anti-homophobia education in their chapters. Heightening the visibility of gay men and their contributions as brothers to 'all' Greek social fraternities will aide in destroying stereotypical beliefs that fuel hatred and violence against all gays."

Also included in the book are resources and educational tools that could be used in steering the fraternity system away from being one of the strongest bastions of homophobia among the youth of America. The anthology's contributors tell their

A telling detail about the book is that several of the accounts are written under pseudonyms, which indicates that we are still a long way from blowing the door completely off the Greek closet. While this is not a major criticism, many of the writers remain faceless even after one has read their story. A book such as this needs to help put an even more direct face on the story, so that the world can see that the all-American boy next door is not always straight.

While the book travels the spectrum of

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experiences by gay brothers, what seems only minimally present is the effect that the closet has on the self-loathing of gay members themselves. My experience with being in a fraternity brought me to the conclusion, many years after I had left, that some of the most homophobic brothers had eventually peeked out from those very same closets where they had sought to imprison others like themselves. The power of homophobia is not always in straight people ostracizing gays, but more often it is even more insidious and damaging in the power that gay men can exert over other members of the tribe.

The book also fails to significantly touch on how homoerotic the initiating process really is, and what this means in relation to the homophobia in fraternities.

This book is an essential tool in breaking the silence and the walls that surround fraternities and homosexuality. However, it is unlikely that many brothers would find it on the shelves of the house library. Probably, if a brother dares to bring it into the frat house, it will probably dwell in the closet with him. But it is a must read not just for gay brothers, but more so for straight brothers who accept their heterosexual privileges as means to exert power over homosexuals and who take for granted the true sanctity and responsibility of brotherhood.

Change is slow, especially when it comes to exclusive clubs. Ask the first women senators. Ask the first black U.S. House members. Ask the first openly gay athletes. Ask the first full-figured fashion model. But some change is better than no change at all, and while the fraternity closet has been cracked open, we have a long, long way to go, brothers and sisters.

Ultimately the Greek family is as dysfunctional as any other American family, and in need of as much help and therapy as possible. This book is a marvelous first session on our collective Greek couch. ✔

Kaizaad Kotwal is a Chronicle contributing writer in Columbus.